College Football Viewing Guide

Since it is a bit hard to tailgate for a team that doesn't exist, I present to you the step by step guide to spending your Saturday in front of the TV watching college football.

Step 1) Wake up with a pounding headache, the terrible result of a rowdy Friday night.

Step 2) Create a mental pros/cons list of staying in bed all day for a lazy Saturday.

Step 3) Spend the next 15 minutes building up the will to exit the comfort and security of your bed.

Step 4) Slowly roll out of bed, the exact opposite of the band-aid method.

Step 5) Struggle to get your legs into both legs of your sweatpants.

Step 6) Breathe a sigh of relief as you see the "care package" your alter ego left you on kitchen counter: a bottle of Blue PowerAde, Advil, and your coffee mug waiting to be filled with black gold that you programmed to be brewed an hour before you got up. Also remember to thank your alter ego.

Step 7) Bring care package contents over to couch and begin self medication of coffee and PowerAde (repeat as needed).

Step 8) Grab the remote and turn on the TV, making sure to turn up the volume for your sleeping roommates.

Steps 9) Change the channel to ESPN just in time to see Lee Corso put on his headgear.

Step 10) Hmmm, didn't see that choice coming Lee.

Step 11) Begin channel surfing between the different games as you have access to only so many (and lets be honest, some of these early games aren't gems).

Step 12) Go back to your room to grab your laptop to begin the streaming of games that you can't find on your basic cable package (read: ANY. PAC 12. GAME).

Step 13) Realize that two screens is not nearly enough and as a result return to your room to turn on your Xbox to stream another game.

Step 14) Begin ordering Chinese food because you realize that you haven't had a substantial meal in nearly 24 hours (hooray college diets).

Step 15) Begin loudly reacting to each decision made on the field until your roommates are up.

Step 16) As the first round of games ends, you hear the glorious knock on the door signifying that your orange chicken has arrived.

Step 17) Discuss the merits of your Fantasy College Football idea (seriously, it would be fantastic and a great way to get more people to watch more games....just saying).

Step 18) Continue to rotate your attention between the three screens that you have playing college football as the day continues.

Step 19) Decide that the halftime show is the perfect time to bathe.

Step 20) Comment on the amazingly creative names of the players on the teams (looking at you Cincinnati Bearcats).

Step 21) Repeat Step 18 until all college football games have ended.

Step 22) Discuss the plays of the day with your roommates as if you were on SportsCenter.

Step 23) Realize that bed sounds like a fantastic idea and begin to crawl back into bed.

Step 24) Just as you are about to fall asleep, you realize that you have yet to set your Fantasy Football lineup (well, I guess sleep can wait).